Dissonance

What is this agitation that over takes every fabric of my rational mind? Am I insanely blown in my mind or am I just zinging on coffee? Have I just set fire to my mind by reminiscing yesterday or am I just plain furious for having gone to sleep? Is there no way to really collect my pounding heartbeats in a jar anymore? As I pace restlessly with fists rolled tight, I wonder…will I ever find the perfect words to express these emotions… these thoughts…these feelings? Can nothing calm me…can nothing stop this dissonance in my head!! The burst of the imaginary colours, sights, patterns, smells just overwhelm my senses with violent vividity! Is someone there who knows what I am going through? Can someone feel this as intensely as I do? My shoulders hurt, my skin burns and I feel such passionate hunger!! Will I ever be able to birth my desires to the point of ecstatic jubilation? Or will I just compromise yet again for mediocrity? What I wonder can fuel me except this fierce passion? And yet, this same fierce, violent, volcanic vigour stands to destroy all that has been built on carefully planned, meticulous strategy! It has the power to utterly destroy me and yet it is all I desire….my fierce passion for life!! It is like no other emotion I have felt and it cannot be put to sleep anymore!