Why? - Love Letters 8

I hear your confusion in my mind. I feel your remorse in my heart.

As I sit here smelling your perfume, time sifts through my fingers. As I try and hold on to what was, what may have been…I cant help but wonder. Could it really have been? And if it could have been, then why is it not?

Perhaps I could have made a difference. If I had just been content to be your wife, if I never had remembered myself…if it were possible, then perhaps, I would not be here. Alas…I had to be honest!

Is it fair to my heart that I feel emotions that have been dead? Is it right that, that which was buried is resurrected in one insignificant drop of time? Could it not have waited? Could it never have happened? Was it so hard to be there for me?

As I sit here, I watch the wild palette of vivid strokes – patches of blue, hints of white, grey edged with pink….all of it bordered with silver – much like my life.

Oh well!! Perhaps I have a bus to catch and a key to return. Perhaps the loss is mine and mine alone.

Is this the end or the beginning?
Is this the end of the beginning?
Or else, is this the beginning of the end?

At a loss…for words....for understanding….
Your love!