B'day boy & fighter boy!!!

Yesterday was my honey’s birthday!! We had our celebrations and fun over the weekend. But on the actual day, from 6.30 in the morning he was swamped with call after call. Did you thinking the calls were from family and friends to wish him?? Oh no!! They were work related conference calls. In fact his day was so hectic that family and friends gave up after a while because of busy lines. In between, someone would get thru and wish him quickly, most just left voice mails. Besides, he now has mastered the art of conferencing on one line while making short yet important calls from the other. So the land-line as well as his mobile stayed busy busy busy!!
I made his usual treat of Doodh kheer, which he very graciously reminded me about, “for 27 years before I married you, doodh kheer had been a manadatory and key element in my birthday celebrations. Could we please revive some traditions?” How could I refuse??? I enjoy cooking for him and always lament that he has no appetite for anything sweet. And when he does ask for something sweet, would I refuse?? So I made his favorite meal, with his favorite dishes and the kheer as well. He gobbled his lunch in 10 mins while looking that the kitchen clock, grinning at me and blowing me fishie faced kisses alternately. And after the hectic day he had, he was left with an hour to pack his suitcase, shower and change before his taxi came. Yet another short trip but I am not complaining…it could be far worse. So while he said goodbye, he took another conference call. As I watched the taxi leave our driveway, I was filled with so much peace. Peace you ask??? I’ll tell you why!!

While most you reading this would think that he is a workaholic and comment about the sad way the busy birthday was spent, I was thinking about how hard he works for us. On most days he is up at the crack of dawn working, while I am still mumbling in my sleep about something that I am writing, he is kissing me to say “good morning, see you later…I am off to work”. The weekends are strictly for me and the home. Each weekend is packed with tons of activities, chores and pampering, so I never complain. In spite of his busy days, he finds occasions to call me, sometimes for no reason at all. He makes at least 15 calls a day and each time he has to be at some superb place without me, he makes sure to call me tell me how much he misses me. Ok…the man just is crazy about me!!!! And I am so so so blessed!!! His sole focus is making his family comfortable and our lives secure and on that endeavor, he toils ceaselessly! And I make sure my appreciation and admiration is communicated, but even on the days that I forget, his drive never dips. Amazing!!

Over the years, he has loved me with everything in him. And while reading DW’s Musings 15, I could not help but be reminded of this one incident early in my courtship with hubby. Even when we were ‘just friends’, he was always taking care of me and my honour!

We lived in the same neighborhood, well we were neighbours. And those days I had a kinetic honda that I whizzed around on. On one particular day, I was riding back from the local bakery with bread and veggie puffs (which the locals insist on calling pups!), when a couple of streets before ours, I was stopped in the middle of the road by 2 young men. They were drunk and I just happened to be the one to get caught. One man stood in front of my bike and held the handle bars, so I would not take off. The other man came right next to me, pulled off my clip from my hair, took a lock of my just shampooed and blow dried kesh raashi and sniffed in typical kannada movie style. Now I was scared!!! But I stayed calm and knowing that they were drunk, did not try any stunts, lest I end up killing them or something….and luckily someone they knew came along and dragged them away while grinning at me. Some vague comment was made and I rode back home. Till then I was calm. But the moment I parked I started shivering and since I was right under hubby’s window, I looked up. The tears welling up in my eyes were enough for him, he came running out to find out what happened. When I told him, he took me into my house and started interrogating me about Who? What? Where? I could see he was livid and knowing him well, I knew what he was thinking. My dad was in shock that such a thing could happen to daughter. I had 2 cousins who had just dropped in say hello and they were watching open mouthed. They had never seen a neighbour boy flexing his muscles and fists angrily because the neighbour girl was accosted on the road.

While dad was alternating between telling me I should not be riding on the roads and telling Hubbs that he should not be trying to hit others, Hubbs was getting angrier at my father and cousins. He mumbled something about do what suits you and then hissed at me angrily, “don’t u dare cry!!”. The tears got frightened and disappeared. Then he caught hold of my wrist and dragged me off. With each big step he took, I tottered behind him with 3 small steps. He took me to the exact same spot and pointed to a couple of guys at a nearby playground and asked if that was them. I nodded in affirmation, tears welling up my eyes again. He asked me to stay put where I was and went off to confront them. He had lived in the area for many years and knew each and every guy around there. He went up to the 3 people, asked some questions calmly and soon was slapping the 2 of them silly. What neither of us noticed were the 2 cricket teams sitting nearby. They were friends of the hair smeller and they came rushing to defend their drunken friends. Hubbs did not back down, he landed quite a punch and made sure he was in a position where no more that 3 people came towards him….(don’t ask me how…ask him! I have never fought with 20 odd people before!))

One of the things about casual gang wars in the Bangalore of yore was that they were respectful even while hitting one another. Besides, they knew who Hubbs was, knew that his grandfather was in the Forensics, that his uncle was a well known lawyer..etc etc. After some 10 mins, they were all pushing and pulling each other. Clothes were getting ripped off, hair was being pulled. It just seemed like a huge tug of war and I heard the odd thwack and grunting as well. By now my cousins were by me and we were all watching open mouthed. I was asking them to intervene when out of the corner of my eye I saw a batsman taking a swing at Hubb’s head with a cricket bat. That did it!! I could not watch anymore….I was going to jump in to save Hubbs, as soon as I had freed myself from my cousin’s sudden restrictive embrace. As quickly as it had begun, it got over. Just like that…they were saying peace and making V signs and apologizing to Hubbs and hitting hair smeller on the back of his head. I still don’t know what happened. But there was camaraderie, even respect.

As we went back to my house, I scrambled for dettol and cotton. Dad and cousins were trying to lecture Hubbs and reason with him.
Dad: “You should not hit them. We could have talked to them”
Hubbs: “You talk to them Uncle…in your classrooms they will listen, not on the roads”
Dad: “But fighting is not the solution. It serves no purpose”
Hubbs: “so what should I do then? Just watch while they disrespect my best friend?”
Dad: “We should have talked to them. We could have explained that what they were doing was wrong.”
Hubbs retorted hotly: “yeah, you can negotiate with rapists and murderers, I can’t!”

This was the first time in my family there was an incident as violent as this and my cousins and Dad simply did not know how to react!!!

And while I was applying dettol on Hubbs’s, fingers and knees, I was livid and confused. I was scared too…what if the he had gotten hurt seriously?? what if the bat had landed on his head???

Me: “so what was all the pushing and pulling about? Is that how people really fight?”
Him: confused look
Me: “yeah, I mean I did not even hear ‘dishum-dishum’”
Him: Jaw drop
Me: “I mean, I was expecting to hear a nice thud while you socked that bugger on his jaw. All I heard was thwack”
Him: glaring angrily at me. “I just fought 2 cricket teams coz one idjit wanted to act fresh with you and all you can think of is dishum??? Maybe if that bat swinging monkey had cracked my skull you would have been happy!”
Me: tears welling up at the thought again
Him: Softening when he realised I was trying to ligthen the moment. “Anyway, when you hit people you never hear dishum. You should know that better than anyone. After all you hit all the time"
Me: grinning and giggling
Him: beginning to grin and then flinching when the dettol soaked piece of cotton got him off guard at a rather bloody cut.
Dad: still confused, but smiling
Cousins: still confused but pondering what the chemistry between us was about.

Later that evening, the entire gang of cricketers came and apologized to me. Hubbs had lost a gold chain during the tussle…they looked for it and returned it. When Hubbs’ uncle heard what happened, he came over and asked Hubbs angrily, “could you not have called me as well!! Its been so long since we were in a good fight!!”. Of course Hubbs’ parents were wondering why their son was fighting like a mad man for the neighbour’s daughter…little did they know then. Little did we know, then!!

And that one act of defending me gave Hubbs more than brownie points. But then over the course of years, there have been so many similar incidents…and I have been protected, fought for, defended and loved every single time. But make no mistake; he is no street fighter, he never was. Eventually I managed to get him to control that fist, but the intimidation he employs now is even more intense. And I am just so proud of him!!

After a week, he asked me why I was not riding my bike around. I had no explanation. We spoke about fear and unjustifiable guilt. And I rode my bike again….I’ve always wondered why we did not grow up together. I would have been a better person!!

And now he fights for us in corporate America. Sigh!! He just called an hour ago to tell me he had a lousy flight. All because he wanted to be with me on his b’day and hence he decided on a red eye. I am so proud of him…did I say that already??