Imagine This!!

Imagine this!!

She is dressed in a gorgeous Kanjeevaram – not with the traditional zari work, but a simple, elegant one with a soft lustre and a rich colour. It is draped perfectly, the pleats are like a waterfall at her feet with every step she takes, the pallu drapes a shoulder delicately, and her thin waist is highlighted, curving sensually! The sleeve of the blouse sits on her smooth arm and the low back shows off the glowing softness of her skin. And on her back are strands of red from an intricately designed, yet simple kundan necklace that adorns her pretty neck. Just one pretty bracelet on each wrist and elegant kundan jhumkas with tiny pearls play hide and seek with hair cascading down her shoulders in luxurious tumbles and waves. She looks so natural with kajal lining her eyes, the lashes carrying just a tiny bit of mascara, a nude shade of lipstick and a touch of shimmering gloss. She has simple strappy sandals; the ankles are adorned with delicate payals that make the slightest of tinkles, all set off by pretty toenails in light pink…just like the pretty feet in the ads. The dabs of perfume on her neck and wrist waft ahead and announce her arrival. She is looking so fine!!! This is the look that dazzles and captivates many a heart. Her confidence is what makes her sexy and she knows it. She feels so peaceful and certain that this will be a great evening!! Maybe her bewitching smile will win some heart worthy of her attention tonight and a new fairy tale will be created. A mischievous smile lights up her eyes as her manicured fingers with a lone sparkling solitaire reach for the door. They are pulled open for her by a huge man in jeans and a flowery shirt. She politely smiles and says “thank you” and walks in. She enters the doors...and the look on her face changes from one of peace and expectancy to a blank one.

Everyone there is dressed differently. The men are wearing tight tees, leather pants, jeans and short transparent kurtas….the women are in hipsters, tubes, minis and oddly shaped strips of cloth. The music is ear shattering, heart thumping - a dhung dhung dhunging mixture of rap and techno and what not!! The DJ is trippin’ and the crowd is groovin’. The drinks are flowin’, the bar is crowded. The air smells of cigarette smoke and liquor. The faint sweetish smell of marijuana floats from some distant corner. The people have shed inhibitions and are making out everywhere…the soft muted lights mingled with the flashing disco lights and smoke make it hard to see who is who. A drunken girl that’s passing by bumps into a post loses her balance and falls on the floor. A man sitting on a nearby barstool picks her up and smacks her bottom and they laugh raucously.

And then, one by one….they stop doing their thing and start looking at her. They point fingers and ask questions. Their jaws are hanging and by the look on their faces, she becomes terribly distressed. Somewhere in a corner a snigger starts and soon the ripples of laughter turn into a minor tsunami of derision and humiliation!! She is mortified, as some people start making cat calls and nasty comments. They mention some names, associate her with some characteristics…they judge her!! As she stands there seemingly glued to the floor, she is at a complete loss for words or motion.

Now imagine this!!

She is dressed in the cutest short skirt that sits right at the middle of her thigh. She has sexy long legs that are accentuated by the hippest strappy sandals. A lone anklet adorns her pedicured feet. Her tank top is just perfect near your navel…now you see it, now you don’t! A real tease!! The backless halter top she is wearing glitters and shimmers delicately and the fabric ripples against her skin. Her hair is layered and smoothed, but kinked at all the right places perfectly! Eyes have just a tiny touch of kohl and smoky blue eye shadow; lips are perfectly lined and glossed to a shiny bright red. Just like the models. A small cute purse that is too tiny to hold anything but some lip gloss and credit cards hangs delicately from her shoulder, her French manicured fingers caressing the strap casually, a single platinum bracelet sits snugly against the wrist. Delicate feathery earrings float in the air as she walks. Her confidence is her oomph! She knows she will have a great evening! And the wicked, sensual smile says that she might just find some guy interesting enough to share her coffee in her yellow mug tomorrow morning. As she walks towards the door, a young man wearing a kurta walks out and holds the door till she walks in. The look on his face pleases her, so she makes eye contact and huskily says ‘thank you’! She enters…and the look on her face changes from one of sexiness to one of fright.

Everyone there is dressed differently. The men are wearing silk/cotton kurtas/kurtis, waistcoats, salwars and ironed jeans. The women are in valkalams, pashminas, khadi silk long skirts and hand painted silk/cotton kurtis. The music is a jugalbandi between Pt. Hariprasad Chaurasia, Pt. Shiv Kumar Sharma and Ustad Alla Rakha. The people are all in groups across the room. The conversation varies from philosophy to literature to NGOs to the latest theatre production. The bar carries fine drinks and the finger foods are served by turbaned waiters in closed neck kurtas. Above the music and the snippets of conversation a random guffaw or giggle is heard from every other corner. In the group that is closest to the door, a stylish looking spectacled man offers everyone cigarettes from his silver case and lights them one by one, starting with the short-haired woman to his right. As she raises her head, and sees her. She taps the bearded man to her right and they all turn towards her.

And then, one by one….they stop doing their thing and start looking at her. They look at her with a shocked expression, smile politely, look away quickly and talk about her. They ask one another if they know her, they whisper conspiratorially. The look at her legs and she suddenly feels naked. While she smiles nervously wondering if now is a good time to turn around and run, someone walks towards her and says, “Arrey Beta, why are you still by the door, do come in? Where are dad & mom??”

Did you imagine that?

Now there can be 3 different conclusions/endings to these situations. Let’s explore all three, shall we?

First ending:

The Kanjeevaram clad woman took the plunge, found a friend in the disco and made some more new friends. She hitched up her saree delicately, tucked her pallu in her waist, drank coke instead of the usual red wine and danced till the early morning hours. She did find an interesting conversationalist, learnt a few new dance moves and slangs, she accepted compliments and jokes about her saree with equal wit and grace and she forgot all about the party she was supposed to go to.

The hip woman allowed to be introduced to people, made smart conversation, flirted lesser than she would normally have and drank cocktails instead of tequila. She made good conversation with the director of a local NGO and humbly admitted her lack of understanding of Hindustani classical music. When invited to a play the following week, she accepted with grace and forgot all about the party she was supposed to go to.

Now while these two women are confident, sexy and intelligent, they have their own personalities. Given the need, they can be comfortable in both atmospheres and carry themselves off with natural charm and wit. However, dressed as they are, they cannot be in the wrong party without being judged. Knowing that, they gracefully come through as mature and wise women, making the most of every situation. Clearly they are what we would call winners.

Second ending:

The Kanjeevaram clad woman bursts into tears, runs out of the disco and bumps into the huge bouncer. When he tries to steady her, she gets a fright and screams at him to leave her alone. Well…she loses it!

The hip woman stutters and says that she came alone. Then she spends the rest of the evening pulling her skirt down in some hope that her nakedness will not be noticed. A middle aged woman stops her and tells her she should not be wearing such clothes. Most of the men stare and letch, most of the women look away embarrassed. After a while she loses it, yells at some one, and uses some foul language and runs out angry and crying.
It’s the same women alright…with the exact same confidence, sexiness and intelligence. But they loose their head, cool, tempers and respect.

Third ending:

The Kanjeevaram clad woman, laughs along with the crowd, says, “Oh what a phat party!! It’s a pity I am at the wrong one. Well perhaps I can join you the next time!!” She turns around and walks out with a cheerful smile and composure.
The hip woman says, “Oh, I am so sorry! I think I came to the wrong address! But this looks swell!! Well, enjoy yourselves, everyone!!” She turns around and walks out with a cheerful smile and composure.

It’s the same women again…with the exact same confidence, sexiness and intelligence, yet again. But they choose to handle this situation with grace, dignity and good manners.

I do have a point I assure you!!

Its simple….if you want to attend a certain party, dress/behave appropriately. It does not mean you change your self as a person, just that you behave/converse in accordance with the in house rules/boundaries. If for some reason, there is a goof up and you do end up at the wrong party…either be smart enough to make the most of the situation, or exit with grace. If you can do neither, then be prepared for the consequences that arise from your behaviour.

To be more general and more importantly so - …these things apply in every walk of our lives….our behaviours, our attitudes & thoughts, and what we do with them, is what makes…or breaks us. The choice really is ours!!

At every important crossroad of my life, I find myself becoming less volatile and more focused. And I think it’s important for us to be encouragers rather than critiques. Again, that’s a personal choice each of us makes for ourselves…exclusively our own!

Do read this is good cheer!!
And with plenty of salt…a must for tequila!!
If nothing else, at least enjoy my writing!!

Cheers!!